


Breathe

by fallenAngel161



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Mentioning Of Character Death, One Shot, cassian cares, poor cassian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:08:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9191216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallenAngel161/pseuds/fallenAngel161
Summary: You lose a friend and Cassian comforts you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my second attempt at writing Cassian. Absolutely love him and hope you guys enjoy this, even though it's kinda depressing.

“I’m sorry.”

You hear the words like they’re being said in a different room. They’re faded and far away and little hard to understand. All you can think about is how real this nightmare feels. Except that it’s not a nightmare.

You finally look up at the Gold Leader as he puts a hand on your shoulder. “She died a hero,” he was saying. You don’t say anything. Behind you, you hear the cheers. The rebellion won the battle at the Imperial base. It had been a risky plan from the start, but against all odds the rebels were able to take the base. Of course, there were casualties as there are in any battle. Your best friend was one of them. The two of you had been friends ever since you joined the rebellion. It wouldn’t be the rebellion without her.

Despite those that had been lost in the fight, everyone was celebrating the win. You couldn’t bring yourself to join them. You just felt sick. You back away from his touch wanting nothing more than to just get away from everyone. You back away and then turn and sprint down the hallway towards your room. You rush inside and close the door. For a second you stand in the empty room unsure of what to do. You walk over to the bed in a haze and collapse onto it. You pull the covers over your head and curl into a ball.

You don’t know how long you lay there, thinking about all the times you spent with your best friend in these halls and flying x-wings. You remember giggling like children while you told her about your crush on Cassian and how you never would have done anything about it if she hadn’t encouraged you to. You remember taking you first flying lesson from her. She taught you how to fight, and you were quite good. Cassian often watched the two of you spar and gave you advice when you lost and congratulated you when you won.

You hear the door to your room open.

“Y/N?” Cassian enters the room.

You pull the covers closer and don’t respond. You hear the door close and then a weight on the bed as he sits down.  

You wait for him to say something but he is quiet. You slowly unwrap yourself from the covers and look at him. You’re a mess. Your hair is in a tangled mob and your eyes are red and puffy from crying.

“Come here,” he whispers. You practically fall onto him and he wraps you in his arms. The tears start falling again and you begin to sob. He holds you tightly running his fingers through your hair and rubbing circles on your back with his other hand.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” he whispers again and again. You bury your face in his shoulder.

“She said she’d come back,” you say in between sobs. “I don’t… She can’t-“  You choke on the words.

 Cassian pulls away just enough to see your face. He reaches up and wipes away the tears off your cheek. You gaze at the hard lines of his face and the somber look in his eyes. If there was anyone who knew loss it was Cassian. He gently held your face in his hands.

“I should have been there. I should have been flying. I should have-“

“No,” he says. “Don’t do that to yourself.”

“I can’t help it. I just want to fix it.”

“I know,” his soft accented voice offers comfort.

“How… how am I supposed to… go on?” You can’t imagine a world in which she’s not there.

He looks down. “I will be hard. It will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do. You cling to the memories out of fear that they will fade. You dream of the past and it’s the only place you want to be. A past where they’re still alive. But you cannot get trapped there. You find a way to go on.” He reaches out to cup your face. “When you grieve and mourn and cry, I will be here the whole time.” His eyes were intense as he studied your face.

You knew he would be there but hearing it out loud lifts a weight off your chest for some reason. You wipe a tear from your eyes. “Does it get easier?”

“The pain… it never disappears. Every day you wake up to the same old challenge: to survive the day without them. But breathing… breathing gets easier.”

You swallow and nod. You’re suddenly exhausted from crying so you lay down on the bed. “I want to sleep,” you say,

He nods and gets up from the bed.

“Where are you going?”

He stops. “To give you space... To sleep.”

“No. I don’t want to be alone. Stay.”

He looks a little surprise but then nods and crawls under the covers with you. He opens his arms and lets you crawl up next to him. He pulls you close and once again his hands are holding you.

“Don’t ever leave me,” you say.

“I won’t. I promise,” he says softly.

You smile and breathe a little easier.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comment please! I love to hear from you guys! I'm open to any suggestions or requests if you're looking for anything.


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